Mister Sandman, Bring Me a Dream

so, for my birthday this year, my oldest sister got me the first three books in the Sandman series.

all of these pictures are backwards because they're from my webcam. DEAL WITH IT!

i've been wanting these books for AGES! but the full 2 volume set costs $100 each and i'm broke as shit. so when i opened these up i seriously started crying i was so damn happy. i love these books so damn much you guys!

love

i just...

*sniiiiiiiiiiiff*

...sorry, i'll stop now...

everything i'm about to say about this series has been said before and better, because anyone involved in the comic book/ graphic novel community knows Sandman. or at least, they should because i really think it's up there with The Watchmen in terms of influential graphic novels.

ANYWAYS! getting back to what actually matters! if you've never heard of the Sandman books, maybe you've heard of the guy who wrote them: eccentric British dude, Neil Gaiman!

look at that crazy dude with that dog!

he likes Cthulhu 

if you still have no idea who i'm talking about, why not check out his Wikipedia Article, or his personal blog. He's written such books as Coraline, American Gods,  Stardust, Neverwhere, Anansi Boys, and The Graveyard Book; to name a few. in short, HE IS GODDAMN AMAZING! the man has a beautifully twisted sense of humor and a child-like sense of wonder. he's never afraid to run past the lines of decency, but he does it in such a way that it doesn't feel gratuitous.

ok...enough fangirling about the author, lets look at some of the art. i have the fully recoloured editions. the art is by Sam Kieth, Mike Dringenberg, Malcolm Jones III, Daniel Vozzo, Todd Klein, and Dave McKean [as an artist i think it's necessary to list ALL the artists involved in a project]. to be fair, i have no clue who any of those dudes are, but the result is FAN-FUCKING-TASTIC!

i'm sorry if you can't actually see this

there's a grungy elegance to some parts that are truly beautiful.

if this doesn't make you wanna run out and read comics i don't know what will

then people's heads fall off and melt and you're just like "wtf?!" and you're truly grossed out because of how detailed some of the gore can get

this is right before Morpheus has a rap battle with some lesser demon. seriously.

but then, like, these huge sprawling full page spreads filled with detail and every one of those demons and monsters has personality and a little bit of humor to them.

basically everything about these books is amazing. the main character, Morpheus,

he's like the love child of Gaiman and David Bowie from Labyrinth 

...is the King of Dreams. and that's what the books are about. Morpheus and his siblings and how they try to carry on with their business. Gaiman has a way of writing supernatural characters that makes them feel totally real and plausible. he weaves cultures, legends, and history together so seamlessly. i won't go into detail about the plot of the books since i've only read the three and they are SO worth reading on your own, but i will say this; if you're looking for some meatier graphic novels to get into, this one is well worth your while.

moral of the story:
        Sandman is awesome.
        Neil Gaiman is awesome.
        GO READ SANDMAN RIGHT NOW!

>Mar

The Lion and the Lame

HAH! look at that! i made a witty pun! i win at being funny now, right?

ANYWAYS! i went and saw Twilight: Breaking Dawn: Part II tonight! it was...oh my god, guys, it was the most goddamn ridiculous movie i have EVER seen! and i've seen this!

 those polar bears are sad because they just sat through that shit storm or a documentary

                         

I was instructed by my sisters [who i went to see this with, because FUCK I WOULD NOT PAY FOR THAT SHIT OTHERWISE!] that i was not allowed to make jokes or laugh too loudly at the movie since it was their first time seeing it. for those of you who don't know, there's a big twist at the end of the movie. i already knew said twist because i don't give to flying, golden shits about those shitty-ass books. 

i think the chess pieces have something to do with sex or some shit? i don't know.

i would like to point out some things about this movie, guys.

as most of you know,  Jacob [Bella's ex-pseudo-werewolf-boyfriend, played by Taylor Lautner] FALLS IN LOVE WITH A BABY! Bella and Edward's creepy-ass halfie baby. Let's just all take a minute here. he imprints* [*read: 'FALLS IN LOVE WITH] his Ex-girlfriends crazy mutant baby! you can rationalize that all you want, but he's still in love with an 8 year old. 

#SPOILERSPOILERSPOILERQUITREADINGIFYOUGIVEASHITABOUTTHISFRANCHISE#

they ACTUALLY go the "it was all a dream" route at the end. you know all those trailers with the huge epic battle? yeah. it was all Alice showing the evil lead vampire what would happen if he kept being a flamboyant douche.

THIS MOTHER FUCKER!

look at that crazy bitch!

oh my FUCKING SHIT! this asshole! oh my GOD he has hilarious! he just overacted the hell out of his part. i'd say he almost makes the whole damn thing worth while...though that may very well be the whiskey talking at this point...

....ugh, speaking of which, it's late and i've had a few so i think i'm gonna go to bed. I'm sure i'll make another post about this ridiculousness some other time. a post that is more thought out and cohesive than this. in the mean time

                                                                       HAPPY THANKSGIVING BITCHES!

the apples make it healthy, right?

>Mar

Man, i miss old 90's sitcoms. they always went Disney World. this taught me that all good things in my life will occur at that most magical of places; while inspirational renditions of Eye of The Tiger swell and fireworks light the sky, my life could be forever changed by the magic of that huge golf ball and over grown rodent. 

                                     [look at that shit. they promised me magic, those bastards!]

hey, guess what you guys. you know what happened when i went to Disney? I lost my favorite hat. MY FISH HAT YOU GUYS! i loved that damn fish hat. i lost it on that freaking train ride. that hat meant the world to me. THE WORLD you guys. and then i went back a few years later and tried to look for it. i know that was stupid of me, but I BELIEVED that i could find that hat again. i didn't, of course, but Disney had made me believe that it was a magical place where dreams come true and people are united with the ones they love no matter what. You let me down and broke my heart, Disney. I'll never see that hat again. ever...

>Mar

Rock It For Me

I went blues dancing tonight with a buddy of mine. it...uh...was NOT what i expected it to be. when i think blues, i think these guys
                                                           v
                                                           v

or this guy
         v
         v

don't get me wrong, i had a fantastic time. but i was thinking i would be groovin' like Jake and Elwood. i was surprised to find that blues is apparently a lot more like the tango or something. 

i've never danced much. it's never been my thing. i didn't go to public high school so like, the last "dance" i went to was in the eighth grade [unless you count weddings but i think those are different]. it was all very surreal and a year ago i wouldn't have been caught dead doing something like that. but this was fun. like...a lot of fun....hm....

word of advice though: if you're gonna go dancing you may want to consider TAKING A FREAKING SHOWER! news flash, guys, unloading six cans of Axe body spray on yourself is NOT a substitute for actual hygiene. No, you are not fooling anybody. Yes, everyone can tell. and No, none of the girls think you smell sexy. They all think you haven't bathed in two weeks. 

i really want to watch the Blues Brothers now...

>Mar

I Wish I Was This Cool in Middle School

So! For my first real post I figured I'd take a look at one of my absolute favorite online comics: 

I came across this gem a year or two ago while wasting my time on StumbleUpon. just...this comic. It's hilarious. I don't know...you'd think that the set up of a bunch of kids solving mysteries would be dry and over-done, and for the most part i agree with that, but this is just so refreshing and enjoyable. the characters are so well written, each one having their own distinct personality. i feel like i'm watching a show every time i read it, like...i can hear the voices of the characters, that's how well this shit is done. it makes me smile every time i read it and the britishness of it is thoroughly amusing to a Yank like myself. I felt utterly lots for like...3 months while the story took a hiatus last year. i just didn't know what to do without Lottie's constant advice on life and big hair. seriously, if you've never read it before you should cart your sorry ass right on over and start from the beginning. It's fun for pretty much all ages and all genders. it's just good fun.

Bad Machinery

Alright, i'm done gushing over this now. GO READ IT NOW DAMMIT!

>Mar

In The Beginning, There Was Supidity...

I've never been good at blogging. I made enough mistakes back when Xanga was a thing to learn not to share opinions on the internet where people can see them. Really, it's best for me to keep things to myself where no one can be offended. I guess what I'll attempt to accomplish with this blog, at least for the duration of the semester, is to ramble on sarcastically about things like comics, art, cartoon shows I like and various other things I find amusing. No one else will be terribly amused, I'm sure, but that's ok. I never really cared about that and I think I'm friggin' hilarious!